The Struggles of an Introverted Networker

I have a confession to make. As someone who builds a career on connections, you'd think I'm an expert networker. But the truth? I'm terrible at it.

Crowded mixers crammed with aggressive schmoozers are my own personal nightmare. I freeze up trying to chat with intimidatingly accomplished people. At events, I transform into a wallflower, waiting in vain for someone to approach me first. Not exactly networking gold.

This was a problem. My work depends on continually meeting fresh faces. New people equal new opportunities. Yet my introverted tendencies were blocking me from the contacts I needed. I had to crack the networking code - but how?

Enter METAL. The solution came to me some years ago in a flash of inspiration. I recognized that while I floundered at working a room, I flourished at forging genuine connections one-on-one.

So I decided to play to my strengths as a connector and create a space that brought people to me. Every Saturday morning, METAL invites diverse thinkers to gather for coffee and big ideas, like a “church for the mind.” We explore passions, build bonds, and walk away with expanded perspectives (and address books).

This regular oasis for enriching exchange attracts fascinating folks week after week. By curating a forum for engaging dialogue, I suddenly reversed the networking equation. The mountain was coming to Muhammad.

What I stumbled upon is a phenomenon psychologists call “dominant influence.” Research shows we all have an innate drive to be around well-liked people. See, humans are social creatures - we can’t help but gravitate toward those exerting a magnetic pull.

I became one of those “dominant influencers” by founding a group of enticing people who wanted access to me. As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in The Tipping Point, “We need to stop thinking of people who have influence as being people who somehow have acquired some mystical force. Influence is not a magical power. It’s simpler than that. People who have this kind of influence are merely people who know how to connect with others.”

That’s the secret. Want more contacts? Stop chasing connections; make connections chase you. Anyone can spark their own networking “tipping point” by taking my lead:

● Locate a casual cafe or eatery with ample room to congregate. I started at a local Denny’s back in ‘92.

● Coordinate a standing weekly time to take over the space. Every Tuesday morning became my dominion.

● Curation is key. Invite diverse, thoughtful participants to prompt rich discussions.

By consistently curating an in-demand experience, you plant yourself at the center of opportunity. Your reputation draws people in. Convening becomes connecting.

So take charge of your networking destiny. You have the power to go from social butterfly-phobe to that magnetic hub everyone wants access to. Create a space that speaks to you, then speak to the people who show up. Opportunity awaits!